Socially Awkward Introduction

Hello from the humid middle of the United States. I’m Mary Beth. We are currently experiencing a heat wave here in Central Illinois and yesterday was well over 100 degrees. I melted in to a puddle and have just managed to pull myself back together. I’ve wanted to start a blog for a few years now, but every time I would look in to starting one I would chicken out. I’m not someone who is overly interesting, overly confident, or overly happy. I am, however, hoping that maybe, just maybe, this blog can help with those things. Really the goal of this blog is self growth.

I have always wanted to be adventurous, but have never had the gumption to make anything happen. I’ve lived a pretty boring 33 years so far in my tiny home town in Illinois. I’m engaged to someone from town, we own our centrally located 1934 built house that we share with our wonderful 2.5 year old son. My son is by far and away my greatest adventure. I was 30 when I had him. I had been told that having a baby would be very difficult my entire adult life. And then we made him, without trying. I don’t say it like that to make anyone feel bad or to brag, but he is the thing that I am most proud of.

On to Finn we go. Finn is my 2.5 year old perfect little boy. He is the sweetest, smartest, and coolest kid on the planet. I know I’m biased, but lord is he cool. He is cooler at 2.5 than I ever will be, and I am completely ok with that. He’s got hazel eyes, and curly blonde hair and will do just about anything to be able to take Woody with him wherever he goes.

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One of Finn’s many newborn photos. Photo Credit to Jamie C. Photography.

There he is, in all of his newborn photo glory. He’s the kid that comes running to me with the best face in the world telling me his shadow is chasing him. He speaks like a 5 year old, and counts to 20. He’s quite literally the best. The biggest thing I hope for in life is to help shape him into a good person. Which I think is something his dad and I both want.

Finns Dad is also my Fiance Cameron. We have been together almost 6 years and engaged for almost 2 with no wedding plans in sight. Not. A. One. We would rather put the money in to our house than a wedding. We have had many many many ups and downs and are still trying to work out co-parenting. But, one thing is for sure, he is a great father. And that’s not always the case.

I’m next. I grew up on a farm in rural Illinois. I have two sisters, one older, one younger and my mom and dad got divorced when I was 27. I have a specialized associates degree in Graphic Design from a college that is getting ready to close and an Associates of Fine Arts from a local community college. I currently work in my small town. I won’t say for who, but I work in billing. Its thrilling. (insert comment about sarcasm)

At 33 I am definitely not where I thought I would be. I used to have dreams about moving to New York or Paris. I was going to be a graphic designer at a advertising firm and live this great single life. Then, life happened I guess. I turned 21, found out what being in a bar was like, made terrible terrible decisions, job hopped like crazy, and just had no idea what I was doing. Time is so funny, at 21, you think time is all you have, at 25 you think you know everything, and by 30 you can’t believe how much of a decade you have wasted. For some reason 33 has made sick of waiting for something to happen and get in to the mind set of trying to make something happen. I also thought one big step was going to happen to me. Like someone was just going to walk up to me and offer me a job, or someone was going to give me a car just because. It took me a long time to realize that this doesn’t happen, and the only way to do it is hard work.

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Photo above: Us in 2016 for Finn’s 1st birthday photos. Photo Credit to Jamie C. Photography.

That is where this blog is going to come in. I want to grow something and stick to a goal. Not to make money but to set my mind to something and do it. I’ve always struggled with that. My goal is to publish a blog post every day for seven days. Tomorrow’s post is going to be about how sometimes being yourself and sticking to it can be alienating and lonely and ideas I have for myself to try and fix that.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

-Mary Beth

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